Saturday, May 18, 2013

The Wedding: Part One

I've never totally understood the cult of weddings. According to this survey, the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. in 2012 was $28, 427! (And that's not counting the honeymoon.) That's a down payment on a house or a new car. I've seen the months of stress and anxiety brides put themselves through planning these wing-dings down to the last detail. Then there's the almost inevitable family strife and hurt feelings about stuff like who's picked to be the bridesmaids or the seating charts at the reception.

The weddings I've been to have been memorable not for the type face on the invitations or the centerpieces on the tables, but for the moving speech the best man made or the entertaining thing the drunk uncle did. I've never given a crap about whether the cake is lemon or chocolate. After a couple of glasses of Champagne, it goes down well whatever it is. Oh, and the dress! Here's the thing about that: the bride is always the most beautiful woman in the room regardless of what she wears. I'd be shocked if anyone actually noticed the specific pin tucks or the precise placement of the spangles.

Of course, the reality TV world just about wets its pants in excitement over the opportunities wedding planning offers for drama devolving into hysteria. Bridezillas. Say Yes to the Dress. Way too many others to mention.


Don't pretend you don't know who this guy is.


So call me the wedding Grinch if you like; I'm quite happy to cop to it. But today I'm attending a wedding here in my little Mexican town and have to admit I'm looking forward to it.

Let me tell you how it's gone down so far. Last week, the lovely young bride and groom hand delivered the invitations around town. I RSVP'd to them in the affirmative right there on my door step. The first printing of the invitation had a typo on it, but they used them anyway and just told people the time of the church ceremony was 3:00 pm not 13:00 (one o'clock). I got one of the second printing with the correct time.

The invitation was hand delivered to my house


Yesterday I bumped into the mother of the bride and asked how things were going. Great, she told me. In this part of Mexico the groom's family pay for the wedding so she was just cruising. I asked how many people they were expecting. Three hundred. Or maybe 350. When my eyes widened and my jaw dropped, she rather defensively said, "Well, it is two families." That's not the thing, I explained. Aren't you concerned about knowing how many to cater for? She dismissed that with a wave of her hand. They were cooking mucho, mucho carnitas y barbacoa. Plenty to go around no matter who showed up. However, she had needed to go around town knocking on doors asking if friends could accommodate out-of-towners and had found beds for them all. I jokingly said if those other 50 showed up about 25 could camp in my courtyard. Yes, she said, and 25 could sleep on the roof. (Yikes!)

On to the important stuff: what was she wearing? She didn't have anything and was going out to buy something that afternoon. I did mention that was the day before the wedding? Maybe I should have copied her on this in case she's unaware of  the "seamless entourage" factor.

Let's just take a moment to recap here. There were no save-the-date notices six months out and no three part wrapped-in-tissue engraved invitations requiring a response as to whether you were bringing a plus one. There's no seating plan at the reception and no one's sure just how many are going to show up. The families and friends are cooking the food. The mother of the bride has not pre-planned her outfit: OMG, what if she's wearing the same color as the groom's mother? And what if San Luis de la Paz is out mother-of-the bride dresses?

Clearly, this wedding has disaster written all over it. Come back tomorrow for a full report complete with pictures.

The wedding is going to be here in San Pedro's: so that's good


Have to go now as the wedding is shortly and I still need to figure out what to wear.





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